19 in my head

The past eleven days have been an endurance test of note. The downside to my next ship being smaller is that the crew need to be specialist certified. Let no man's ghost come back to say 'my training let me down'. God forbid that there should ever be opportunity to use my newly acquired fire fighting skills!

I knew before I entered ship life that most of the time I would be almost double the age of my colleagues. Fortunately, my eternally optimistic attitude of "nineteen in my head" has been a shield that I hide behind frequently. No more so than this week. I have been throwing myself into life rafts, climbing up ladders fully decked in a fire suit and breathing apparatus in zero visibility, and jumping into cold saltwater in a life jacket from three meters up! I haven't done that high a jump in thirty years!!! I won't share the colourful language that I used - suffice to say I sounded just like a nineteen year old. 

Acting my age has never been common practice with me. Strangely enough, as a teenager I always associated with twenty-odd year olds. Most of my friends are over ten years my senior. But age is happiest when it is forgotten. Whether it is a coping mechanism or permanent state of mind, not one of us is guaranteed tomorrow. So what does it matter what age we are, or are acting? What's the worst that can happen? Many times this week I doubted that I could make it through this training, but I did! The feeling of accomplishment is bliss, and has added another notch to my belt of regaining confidence. I thought I could, and I did. 43? Nope, 19 in my head. Always.